Such a poser2/11/2023 ![]() Not joking there's one visible trace of blood as presses a noticeably plastic knife to Injured Blonde Cheerleader's neck, but it's more believable that the prop master accidentally smudged strawberry jelly on the fake weapon. Slasher action is 100% bloodless as the Diablos mascot hunts cheerleaders who keep splitting apart in the now spooky abandoned storage building. Lam scrambles to hide slasher attributes in any way possible, unlike recent gateway horror films like Spirit Halloween that do their job introducing younger audiences to some of the barbed edges of horror enjoyment. The script tries to be gossipy and zippy, but dialogue feels obnoxiously manufactured whether contemporary high schoolers quote Gremlins ("Bright Light," uh huh) or attitude snaps read unnatural. The PG-13 rating almost feels like a practical joke, given how slasher ferocity is padded like mats stacked to the gymnasium ceiling. It's apparent that Bring It On: Cheer or Die fancies itself as gateway horror for pre-teenagers, but there's vapid interest in engaging with horror frameworks. That's why the Diablos leaders decide their cheer squad will practice overnight on Halloween weekend in an abandoned high school across town.Īll the makings of an absurd sleepover slasher flick with choreographed pep routines, none of the execution wherewithal to make anything matter. Simmons threatens co-captains Abby Synger (Kerri Medders) and McKayla Miller (Tiera Skovbye) with program eradication should they attempt such routines on school grounds. They're banned from tosses and such by Principal Simmons (Missi Pyle), blowback from an incident some 20 years prior when a Diablos flier broke her neck falling during a stunt. In this Bring It On canon, Diablos cheerleaders compete without aerial combos against far superior programs like the White Knights. There's more blood featured on the poster's abdomen splatter than all 90 minutes, performances are a mixed bag (to put it nicely), and whatever brand excitement the whole "Bring It On goes horror!" surprise ignited? That deflates quicker than Pennywise's balloons against a rocket launcher explosion. Rebekah McKendry and Dana Schwartz's screenplay reads like someone gun-to-head forced them to update a shelved Bring It On pitch with Halloween marketability. How does the slasher entry in this cutthroat cheerleader franchise pack the least amount of bite? Karen Lam's direction smacks of Lifetime after-school flatness that continually forgets to be a horror film. Bring It On: Cheer or Die is painfully disappointing in ways I haven't had time to reconcile yet.
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